


I Won't Let You Touch Him. Ever.

by Stormborn_88



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Crowley (Good Omens), Bullying, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Verbal Abuse, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27439630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormborn_88/pseuds/Stormborn_88
Summary: An old friend of Crowley's comes for a visit and it's all fun and games until Crowley leaves his husband's side for a moment.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 136





	I Won't Let You Touch Him. Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> My very first 'Good Omens' story, as well as my very first romance story :) I really hope you like it!!
> 
> Just keep in mind that I'm no English native speaker, so if you stumble over any grammatical error please tell me, so I can correct it (and learn something from it ^^).

___

Aziraphale was nervous. He wasn’t planning to admit that to Crowley though, since his husband was over the moon himself and he wouldn’t want to spoil that in any way. That meant he’d have to act like tranquillity itself today. He took a couple of deep breaths, clapped his cheeks and put on a calm smile. _It’ll all be fine_.

Said all contained a very rare occasion. _Very rare_ , he thought as sarcastically as the angel was capable of. _That never happens at all_.

When Crowley came home a couple of days ago, incredibly hyped up and excited, he capped the angel’s face in his hands, gave him a quick happy kiss and announced he just met an old friend and that he’d be coming over for dinner soon.

To say Aziraphale was rather surprised was like the understatement of the century. Not that Crowley was someone, who shouldn’t have many, many friends – for all he knew it’d make more sense for the demon to have friends instead of the prim angel, as so many people had already called him – but he never heard Crowley speak of any proper friend of his before. He felt slightly ashamed when he noticed a jealous sting rush through him. He always thought they only ever really had each other. _So, he has friends. That’s good. That’s great._ He tried to smile a little brighter to not irritate Crowley. _See, he’s happy. You’re just not used to the thought yet_.

But the demon already noticed the hesitant reaction of his angel.

“Don’t worry, Belial isn’t like the rest of them.” Crowley dismissed with a wave of his hand.

 _Ah_ , Aziraphale realized, while yet again failing to react properly. _A demon then. Well, makes sense. At least in a way…_

Crowley stepped closer to his husband. “Love, trust me. It’ll be great! You’ll like him. I promise!”

Aziraphale blinked. “You want me here when he comes?”

“Do I… well, yes of course you twit!” Crowley flipped his finger on Aziraphale’s forehead. “Do you think I’d hide you away?”

Aziraphale grimaced funnily and shrugged. “Well…ye…ss?”

“You wound me. As if I’d ever do that,” the demon chided. “In fact, the first thing I told him was that you, angel, and I are now one.” Aziraphale blushed, sometimes Crowley said the simplest things in such sweet ways. “I mean he already knew about you to begin with. You know I’m one to brag.”

“And he is ok with it?” Aziraphale replied, wondering how Crowley could possibly brag with him.

“Do you think I’d have invited him over if he wasn’t?”

Well, and here they were. Three days later. Belial, who Crowley apparently knew for more than 300 years and just forgot to ever mention, was coming over in a few hours for a dinner none of them really needed and Aziraphale was totally not panicking because of it. There were just quite some things he feared a little. Like disappointing Crowley by not getting along with his one and only friend. Or by embarrassing him in any way, since he was already convinced Belial would be… surprised to see someone like Aziraphale on Crowley’s side. And he didn’t even mean his angel side. Just himself.

Crowley on the other hand was like a bundle of joy, telling him story after story of what kind of mischief they made back in the old days, while Aziraphale was listening half astonished half biting back chiding comments on the activities of the two demons. But the stories helped. Some of them were quite hilarious or thought through so very well that he was rather impressed and, even though he was still somewhat nervous, actually looking forward to meet the guy.

But more than that he was genuinely happy for Crowley. He still felt a little jealous sting every now and then given that he never had to really share the limelight of Crowley’s attention. But seeing Crowley so excited, quickly eased his former feelings. Except for the nervous one of being a disappointment in Belial’s eyes and embarrass Crowley, that is.

“Are you really sure he likes lasagna?” Although Aziraphale was asking this question for possibly the tenth time already, Crowley wasn’t annoyed by it in any way. In fact, he found it quite amusing. His husband couldn’t play him as easily as he thought he could. He knew the angel was rather nervous, despite his best efforts to hide it.

“Who wouldn’t like it!?” Crowley answered and gave his husband’s temple a quick kiss. “Especially since it’s homecooked. But you didn’t have to go all out for him and could’ve just miracled it on the table, you know?”

“You don’t bring friends over on a daily base so I wanted it to be as perfect as possible.” Aziraphale mumbled in concentration as he rearranged the plates yet again. But only by mere inches. At least Crowley didn’t see any difference at all, when Aziraphale finally took a step back and proudly smiled at his arrangements. “I think now it looks somewhat decent, don’t you think dear?”

“It looks marvellous, darling. You really outdid yourself.” Crowley’s heart skipped a beat as Aziraphale eyes beamed up at him. He reacted without much thinking as he lifted his angels chin a bit and gave him a soft kiss. He lost himself in it for a moment, when Aziraphale pulled away with a bashful grin as he stared at his apparently quite interesting hands. “It’s nothing big…”

Crowley leaned down to him. “If you keep being so sweet, I’ll cancel on Belial, throw you over my shoulder and into our bed and we’ll spend the rest of the night in it.” With a soft bite to Aziraphale’s ear he straightened up. “Or right here on the table. I’m not too picky on that particular matter.”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale shrieked and threw a hand over his ear. He gazed up to Crowley with wide, but slightly anticipating eyes. Bright red. 

Crowley laughed loud at his husband’s reaction and walked towards the door. “Alas, the killjoy’s already here.”

The door opened with a snap of Crowley’s fingers. “Aren’t you?”

“You know me,” Aziraphale heard a rather deep and smooth voice answer from the other side of the door. “I’m always on time.”

When Belial stepped inside and into Aziraphale’s sight, he couldn’t help but be astonished about how good looking he was. Given by the looks of Hastur and the lot he definitely expected someone who looked like he hasn’t stepped under a shower in ages. Metaphorically speaking. None of them needed an actual shower. But at least a few missing pieces of skin or rotting one should’ve been a given. So he had thought. But Belial looked ready for the red carpet. He was as tall as Crowley, had thick dark hair that was just enough for a tiny pony tail, which highlighted his sharp cheekbones and a fair stubble. His only demonic give-away was as usual his eyes, but other than Crowley’s eyes they were completely covered in black with just a hint of orange were his pupils were meant to be. He never saw anything like it. To be honest it was a bit unsettling. 

Belial smirked at Crowley after a quick glance towards the still rather flushed angel. “I see. I really am a killjoy, ain’t I? Seems like I came too early after all.”

If anything, Aziraphale blushed even harder as he stared down on one of the plates and fumbled with it. _I need a hole to hide in._

“I’m used to your _unique_ timing.” Crowley laughed as he closed the door. “Love?”

Aziraphale’s looked up again and after meeting his husbands expecting eyes and finally snapped out of his embarrassment.

“Oh, oh I’m so sorry, please excuse me. Where are my manners.” He walked towards Belial and his husband and stretched out his hand when he reached them. “I’m Aziraphale. It’s so very nice to finally meet you!”

Belial looked a little surprised and stared at Aziraphale’s hand, making the angel wonder if he knew about this human custom, when the demon took it with a laugh. “It’s good to meet you too. I wasn’t sure you actually existed or if that guy just made you up.”

“And why would I make him up?” Crowley questioned annoyed.

“Ah, you have a history of odd schemes.” Belial shrugged. “I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“To be fair, I think I almost reacted the same when you told me about him, darling.” Aziraphale admitted sheepishly.

“Well, that just proofs that I’m a deeply misunderstood creature.” Crowley exaggerated with a loud, totally fake sigh.

“Demon, that is.” Belial mumbled with a smirk towards Aziraphale, who had to laugh a little.

The hole Aziraphale needed a minute ago suddenly beeped from the kitchen. “Ah, excuse me, dinner is ready. Please just take a seat at the table wherever it pleases you. I’ll be right back.”

“Do you need some help, angel?” Crowley called after him.

“No, no, just make yourself comfortable as well.” He called back as he disappeared into the kitchen. “I’ll be fine.”

He grabbed the towel that hung next to the kitchen door and rushed to open the oven. When the lasanga was out and he fanned it to cool down just a bit, he felt a huge part of his nervousness being fanned away as well. He seems nice. He thought to himself. Well, would Crowley call him his friend otherwise. … _Well Hastur was his friend too, some time ago, so frankly that doesn’t actually mean much... Sorry, dear... But yeah he seems nice. He even laughed with him. Not about him, with him. That’s something._ “You better taste well!” He scolded the dish in front of him. “Don’t spoil the night!”

He wasn’t a bad cook, but he still rarely cooked. He wondered why, since he actually enjoyed it. But usually he didn’t have the patience to cook. When he wanted something specific, there was no time to go buy the ingredients and then cook it. Especially when it’s something delicate like Macarons. He tried that once. Total disaster. “Mmmh, Macarons!” He wondered if he should just miracle them on the table as dessert, instead of serving the cake he bought. Belial might fancy them. Aziraphale doubted the demon ever tried something as delicate as them. But wasting a miracle on them? Heaven might eventually get indignant over too many miracles. _Just one miracle a day keeps Gabriel at bay._ And he had already spent his daily miracle on the ingredients for the lasanga.

 _Well, we won’t even get to the dessert if I spend more time playing palm leaf to this thing._ He scolded himself, grabbed the casserole and made his way back to the dining room. The two crazy-eyed were in the middle of a… knife duel as it seemed.

“Sorry for the wait.”, he apologized when he reached the table and put the food in the middle of it.

“No worries!” Belial smiled at him as Aziraphale sat down.

“Though I was wondering whether or not you might have fallen down the rabbit hole.” Crowley chided mockingly. “Not that we could starve to death, but do you have any idea how good this stuff smells.”

“As a matter of fact, I do!” Aziraphale sat down and watched Crowley putting pieces of the dish on their plates. He loved that every now and then Crowley would appreciate food as well. Not just wine and liqueur. He was fine with Crowley just watching him eat most of the time, but it was really nice to have him join in as well. He wondered how often Belial might actually eat something. He agreed to dinner, so at least he shouldn’t be averse to the idea.

“What were you just doing?” The angel mimicked the knife fight with his hands.

“Wondering when this one got so domestic.” Belial snorted with laughter. “Here I don’t see him for just a short century and any blades of his shrivelled to tiny cute food knifes.”

“And I told him, I could still easily best him, even if it were just Playmobil tools I had.” Crowley’s eyes flickered challenging as he put Belials plate in front of him.

“Hmm, doubt it.” Belial crossed his arms and added with a smile and raised eyebrows. “Makes you wonder if something else might’ve shrivelled as well!?”

“There’s everything just fine with this something else, isn’t that right, angel?” Crowley looked rather pleased towards his husband, clearly expecting an answer. 

The angel simply stared back, feeling the heat returning into his cheeks by his bold demon’s words. “Right, uh… right, so… did you ever have lasanga before, Belial?” Aziraphale changed the subject rather doltish.

Belial chuckled, but thank heavens, humoured Aziraphale’s blunt attempt right before he tried the lasanga. “No, never. Might be quite the experience, since Crowley said you cooked it yourself. Didn’t know your kind did that.”

“Not often, no. I might be the only one actually. But when there is a special occasion… Wait, but you do eat from time to time, don’t you? At least the use of cutlery doesn’t seem to be foreign to you.” The angel dug deeper, while he also waited nervously for any reaction on how it tasted. _Ok, calm down you nitwit. He’s not deciding over a possible Michelin star for it, nor would it be the end of the world if he didn’t like it._

Belial laughed at this. “Yes, every now and then. I eat. I usually don’t fancy it too much…”, he admitted. “…but this tastes rather pleasing. It’s Italian, isn’t it?”

Aziraphale, who unconsciously had begun to chew on his bottom lip, beamed up a bit as he started to nod. “Yes, yes, it is. You just have to love Italian food. Their meals are almost like art. Although, after you have tried Japanese cuisine, you’ll know what real culinary art is. Did you know that all five tastes are supposed to be found in their dishes? Sweetness, sourness, saltiness, bitterness and savoriness, which is also known as umami. Such a beautiful word. Umami. But one has to appreciate the simple things in life as well, wouldn’t you agree? I for one, am often already happy with a simple sugary crêpe. Do you know crêpes? They’re French! A must try, I tell you!”

“I had to get him out of Paris 1789 and away from an impending execution, because he decided to sneak into a city that was drowning in a bloody revolution dressed up as a noble man of all things, simply because he craved some crêpes.” Crowley chuckled, all too used to his husband’s ramblings. “Never underestimate his love for food! And darling? Try your own cooking before it turns cold, it’s really good.”

“Oh, yes, I should.” Aziraphale reached for his cutlery. “Do you live in town Belial?”

“No, I don’t. I don’t really have a place like that.” Belial replied. “Whatever for? If I seek some quiet, I can just crash wherever I like.”

Aziraphale frowned and registered that Crowley suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable. “Wherever you like? Like a hotel?”

“If it’s fancy enough and right there, sure, why not. But usually I just stick to the next comfortable place available.” Belial took another bite.

“The next place?” Aziraphale blinked confused. Did he mean…

“Well obviously I don’t mean kennels. Just any fancy house. I’m discreet, if that’s what you’re worried about. Sometimes the humans aren’t even at home. And sometimes I just send them to sleep in the basement for as long as I’m there. I only just sometimes…”

“Belial!” Crowley interrupted and when Aziraphale glanced towards his husband he found him glaring slightly at their guest. _Right. Demon. What did I expect? Of course, he wouldn’t be like Crowley in every aspect, even when he considered Belial his friend. Crowley hasn’t even been the way he is now a hundred years ago. Though he’d never have done what Belial just implied._

“Right, sorry.” Aziraphale busied himself with his dinner again. “I’m not… judging. I remember doing a similar thing during the war. Well I mean I didn’t… the house was the only remaining one on the street and I might have been invited actually, but… anyway, it really is rather good, you’re right darling.” He glanced up again and smiled towards his husband, who seemed to be torn between an apologetic and a grateful smile.

“So…” Aziraphale thought about his next question for a second. ““You two met during the European Witch-hunt?” He found that to be save ground, since despite the demon’s intent, they ultimately saved an innocent girls life – well Crowley saw to that in the end – and punished a guilty one – although that was only a plan because they were being drenched in that vile woman’s morning toilet down on the streets by accident. Disgusting, but Aziraphale had to bite down a grin, when Crowley had told him.

“Yes, and he totally ruined my whole plan.” Crowley muttered.

“No idea what you’re complaining about. It worked didn’t it?” Belial smirked at the fellow demon. “Though that was no thanks to you.”

“No thanks to me?” Crowley leaned forward with narrowed eyes. “You prick would’ve been found out the minute you started your idiotic swap plan, if it weren’t for me abandoning my own plan to help you out!”

“Didn’t you say your plan was more or less the same? Swap the girl with the vile one?” Aziraphale questioned, gaining a betrayed look from Crowley.

“Well, -ish. But I would’ve followed it with more finesse than that brute!” Crowley stressed with a smug expression.

“Ha, yeah sure sure. Don’t listen to him angel. Totally delusional.” Aziraphale cringed a bit at that. He was so used to Crowley calling him angel as an endearment, that when coming from Belial, it simply felt wrong. Even though he knew it was just meant as the term of his race. 

“Tzz, next time you’re in hot water, I’ll remember that I’m simply delusional. See how that’ll work out for you!” Crowley put on a fake smile, when he suddenly seemed to remembered something and frowned. “And don’t call him angel.”

“You call him angel yourself.” Belial looked at him confused.

Crowley snorted and leaned back again. “Of course I do. But that’s something else. I can do that. I’m his husband.” We crossed his arms and grinned proudly.

“Right, so… _Aziraphale_?!” Belial stressed his name with a pointed look to Crowley, who just gave him an approving nod. “Did you two actually marry? The human style? Or is that just him exaggerating?”

“We did marry.” He blushed a little. “But not the human style. Angels can connect their soul to someone else’s. And…,” he glanced over to his husband, who gifted him with a smile, “…that’s what we did. In our own private ceremony so to say.”

“You connected your souls?” Belial looked fairly surprised. “I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“Well for us it isn’t something to do by ourselves.” Crowley explained while gently squeezing the angel’s hand. “I could only do it, cuz he initiated it. But it’s something I’ve never experienced before.”

“How did it feel?” Belial’s leaned forwards. His black eyes fixated on Crowley, clearly eager to learn more.

“You don’t really think I’d share that with anyone, do you?” Crowley smiled. “I think that’s as personal as it gets.”

Belial didn’t really look pleased after hearing that, but gave in nonetheless. “No, of course not. I understand.”

“What? You’re not jealous, are you?” Crowley teased friendly.

“God no, no offence, but I like to be by myself.” The black-eyed demon scoffed.

“Yeah, that’s what I tried to convince myself ever since I got to know Aziraphale.”

“And how long was that?” Belial asked only half interested.

“Since the beginning.” Crowley answered.

“What beginning?” Belial looked at Crowley, who gave him a pregnant look. “THE beginning? Bloody hell.”

“Ah speaking of which. Love, did I tell you Belial here is also no darling of hell?” Aziraphale raised his eyebrows and looked over to Belial. “In fact, they might hate him even more than me, isn’t that right?”

“True, those bastards have no sense of humour.”

“What did you do?” Aziraphale asked curiously.

“Stole a bit of hell fire back in 1666.” Belial dismissed like he had only snatched a piece of chocolate from their mother’s kitchen.

“Hell fire?” Aziraphale sure didn’t like the sound of that. “Whatever for?”

“I was bored.” Belial shrugged indifferently. “So, I might’ve burned down London a bit.” Aziraphale blinked a few times. _That was him? Because he was bored?_ “Well, that and a smaller part of hell while stealing it. Though while I did the first thing fully intentionally, the latter sort of just happened.”

“Just happened!?” Crowley questioned knowingly.

“Well I already told you. How was I to know it would spill over?” Belial acted innocently. “No one told me I had to lock it in a vessel.”

“Fire can catch. Who would’ve thought?!” Crowley rolled his eyes at him.

“Either way, they’re rather resentful, so I stayed away from that place ever since.” Belial mourned falsely. “Not that I miss it in any way!”

“As you can see, love…” Crowley leaned towards his dumbfounded husband. “I’m not hell’s only outlaw. I share this specific occupation with the douche over there.”

“Though you could probably still come and go. The second I step foot into that place, there won’t ever be a go again, I suppose.”

“I’d guess.” Crowley agreed. “That doesn’t mean I’d ever willingly go back down there though.”

The dinner continued to be actual fun and Aziraphale relaxed even more while he chewed away his dinner. He settled back a little as he watched his husband bicker and laugh with his friend, enjoying the view of his happy husband quite a lot. 

“So, do you go anywhere these days?” Belial suddenly asked in a way, that Aziraphale could only call eagerly. It somehow felt like that was a question he wanted to ask all along. “Or do you guys only keep to your bookshop here?”

“What? Anything to say about our bookshop?” Crowley asked challenging.

“No… no.” Belial denied, though Aziraphale still felt like he wanted to say more. “Just wondering. The last time I met you it was almost hard to keep track of you. There wasn’t a place you stayed particular longer than a few days. Sometimes I just had to look the other way and you’d be gone before I knew it. How come you of all beings would settle down.”

Crowley laughed. “I don’t think you’d understand.” He glanced to his husband. “It all has to do with this guy. Maybe you should ask him!?”

Aziraphale was a little taken by surprise as Belial actually faced him. “So? How did you do it?” Belial questioned gravely.

“Uhm, well, I… don’t know?” He spluttered, honestly not knowing how to answer this question. “I think … I … how did I do that, love?” Seeking for some help he turned to his husband with a slightly desperate expression.

Crowley’s grin only grew wider. “Well I couldn’t keep away from this awkwardness for starters.” Aziraphale’s blush turned Crowley’s teasing grin into a loving smile. “I love him, Belial, and therefore I don’t want to be away from him any longer than necessary.” He turned back to the black-eyed demon. “It’s that simple.”

“But don’t you miss it?” Belial didn’t let up, totally dismissing the lovely declaration of Crowley. “Being wherever you wanna be, doing whatever you wanna do, twisting things the way you want them too, just to see what it could cause, playing around a little, constantly having the upper hand?”

“Well, yeah, I guess I miss some of it. Especially its level of thrill… causing some fun ruckus.” Crowley admitted, but immediately calming the small sting it caused in Aziraphale. “But I’m more than happy where I am right now. Wouldn’t change it for the world.”

Belial didn’t look to happy about it, but let it go with a quiet, displeased hum.

“But it would be ok, you know?” Aziraphale switched from studying Belial’s reaction to his husband’s word. “You could go out on a little adventure with him. I’m fine with it.” _Would I be?_ Aziraphale wondered, but didn’t let it show. “You don’t have to sit here with me, when you’re more in the mood for a little trip to Nepal or Peru!”

Crowley put his chin on his folded hands and leaned forward. “Are you trying to get rid of me?” He questioned. “You plannin’ anything, you little fox?”

“Nothing!” Aziraphale hurried to ensure. “I was just saying that you don’t have to hold back because of me.”

“Hmm…” Crowley studied him. “Well I’m not.”

“But that’s a great idea.” Belial jumped in, his eyes, while fixated on Crowley, somewhat glowing with excitement. “Let’s do that! Hong Kong is currently a boiling pot! Poland and Hungary might be fun as well. But all three’d be dangerous ground. At least their political ranks are swamped with demons lately. But that’s what makes it so perfect to begin with.”

Crowley raised his brows upon hearing that, his eyes immediately meeting his husbands. _Makes sense, judging by the news lately_ …

“Come on!” Belial urged. “We’d be scheming hell itself this time. Even your angel wouldn’t be displeased with whatever we’d be doing!”

“… I don’t know.” Crowley finally said, leaning back. “I’m not really in the mood right now. Maybe someday…”

Belial gritted his teeth. “At least think about it.”

“Sure, sure, will do.” Crowley answered almost automatically as he stretched his arms, making Aziraphale wonder if he didn’t notice how important this seemed to be for Belial. It almost seemed like this was the very reason he ever came for dinner. “Didn’t you buy some cake, love?”

“Oh… yes. I did.” Aziraphale blinked away his thoughts about any demon’s intentions and clapped his hands a few times, all excited himself now. Crowley found it more than just a little adorable. “But… would you mind me for a few minutes? I changed my mind and thought I might go fetch some macarons.” He turned towards Belial. “I’m sure you haven’t tried those yet?”

Belial shrugged uninterested. “Don’t think so.”

“That’s almost a crime.” The angel said with not so much false shock as one would think. “Down the road’s a little store, selling the best coffee… well on the road, it really isn’t that good actually. BUT mark my words, they have the best macarons I’ve found since Madame de Pompadour fancied them back in the days and forced her chef to perfect his skills in the matter. You will love them.” Aziraphale got up, puzzled as he noticed Crowley doing the same. “Just enjoy the company, Crowley! I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

“As if I’d believe that.” Crowley smirked and grabbed his sunglasses. “You go there and we won’t see you again till that store closes.” He nipped the angel’s nose slightly with his fingers. “I’ll go myself.”  
Aziraphale mumbled unintelligible, but didn’t backchat. “Fine, fine… but don’t forget…”

“The nougat one.” Crowley laughed and walked towards the door, Aziraphale hot on his trails.

“Yes, yes, and…”

“And the Turkish honey one.” And before Aziraphale could open his mouth again. “As well as the white chocolate one, Stracciatella and the Argentinian caramel one. Did I forget anything?” He turned back to his squirrelly husband, a smile dancing over his face.

“No,” was the grinned reply. “I’m very predictable, aren’t I?”

“Hmm, I was almost surprised you didn’t want the cake tonight, does that count?”

“Who said anything about no cake tonight?” Aziraphale feigned utter horror, before quickly pressing a kiss on the red heads lips. Blushing more than usual as he jumped back suddenly, only now remembering their guest at the table. “Be back soon.”

Crowley smiled, squeezed the tip of the angel’s nose again and with a “for good measure” he was out of the door.

Aziraphale looked after him for a few seconds, not only to get rid of the redness on his face but also because he simply enjoyed the view.

When he finally turned back around, his pleased smile quickly crumbled a bit upon noticing how annoyed Belial stared at him. _I guess that was a bit too much for him._

He straightened. “Would you like some tea while we wait?”

“Could we cut the crap already?”

“… excuse me?”

“Honestly how does Crowley do this.” Belial muttered to himself. “Look _angel_ , you can’t be that delusional. You can’t really believe all of this is real!?”

“I don’t… what are you talking about?” Aziraphale couldn’t keep up. “The food? I really didn’t miracle…”

“Not the damn food you fool.” Belial roared, slamming his palm on the table. Aziraphale stopped dead in his tracks. What was happening all of a sudden?

Belial exhaled heavily and glared at the confused angel. “This stupid charade. I thought if Crowley’s been playing it for so long there must be some fun in it. Deceiving an angel, playing him a bit and all. But it’s nothing but tedious.” He rolled his eyes. “So wake up you dunce and let’s end this now! Enough of this obnoxious marriage crap already. He needs to get out of here, before it damages him for good.”

Although Aziraphale still couldn’t properly catch up with this sudden and harsh change of tone, he opened his mouth when he heard Belial speak in such a disregarding way of something he held so dear. “Nothing about our relationship is a charade. And our marriage definitely is not obnoxious. We love each other. Truly.”

He knew he shouldn’t care about what he thought of them, most demons and possibly also most angels must speak about them that way, so it wasn’t anything new to him. But this was Crowley’s dear friend, wasn’t he? He was only trying to look out for Crowley… wasn’t he? He needed to at least try and proof Belial that they were indeed true to each other, so Crowley wouldn’t lose his one and only demonic friend.

“Come on, _angel_.” Belial teased again. “He’s a demon! We’re not capable to love anything, you should know that just as well as we do. So, clearly you must have already thought about the possibility that all this is indeed just a scheme!? It’s more like an experiment than a proper marriage. _Our own private ceremony_ , he probably barfed a little on the inside upon hearing that too. It’s remarkable how he manages to keep up this caring façade.” Belial laughed. “But hey, I get him, it’s not dumb at all. The outcome of this game might’ve actually been worth it. The things he must’ve learned by now… I mean I know you for like two hours and that chatty mouth of yours already told even me about the soul-connection you angels are capable off. The things I might be able to do just by knowing about this weakness… Thank you so very much, darling angel.”

Aziraphale felt like he had been slapped. He thought the last two hours had been nice. A bit like dancing over a minefield at times, but actually quite nice. He didn’t know that he was secretly making fun of everything he said and dragged everything good and pure in the mud. Aziraphale felt like a complete idiot. 

“There is no weakness in it.” Aziraphale said while swallowing, frozen in his spot. “Quite the opposite. And nothing you just said is true. Nothing. Not in any way. And if you think you can make me doubt Crowley in any way, you should just give it up already. That won’t ever happen. He is just as true to me as I am to him. I know him.” He said this with absolute conviction. There really wasn’t the tiniest doubt in him. Two years earlier and he would possibly crumble a bit under the doubt Belial’s words tried to evoke, yes, but Crowley’s and his relationship was already at a point where he trusted his lovely redhead completely and knew he wasn’t playing him in any way. Crowley loved him with all he had, just like he did too.

Belial leaned back with an irritated look on his face, slightly disgusted. “You know Crowley, hmm? Why, of course. Because an uptight angel like you would ever really know a demon like Crowley. Don’t make me laugh.”

“What are you trying to do here? Torment an angel a bit for your own amusement?” Aziraphale asked quietly.

“Oh, that’s just like a little extra really.” The demon smirked briefly. “Or the icing on the cake as you would love to say it, wouldn’t you? Satan, I seriously thought about burning this place to the ground with us in it or not and even face my punishment in hell, just to make you stop talking about your disgusting cravings for food. I feel like I should get an Oscar for acting like I cared about anything you said tonight. No idea how Crowley can bear listening to you at all. Would have scratched my ears out a long time ago. Or cut your tongue. More fun and benefit in that.”

“He says he likes it.” Even Aziraphale could hear that his feeling of uneasiness had finally creeped into in his voice. “…You don’t know him.”

“You’re repeating yourself, angel. And not very convincingly.” The demon snorted snidely. “You must know yourself that you’re a joke, don’t you?!” Aziraphale had no idea how he still managed to hold eye contact with Belial, who send him a pitiful look. “I mean think about it. A great demon as Crowley, who has lived through thousands of years as a demon. He’s seen it all. Making sure all those great men and women your god cherishes so much kept torturing each other in any way possible.” Upon seeing the angel go paler by the minute Belial couldn’t help but finally enjoying the night. So, he continued. “Crowley has seen the best of the bloodiest battles, whispered into the ears of kings and warlords. Worked with the most famous artists, actors and musicians… To finally spend his days simply listening to an angel talk about sundried tomatoes and pralines while sitting in a fucking bookshop? You can’t actually be that naïve!?”

Aziraphale wished for a glass of water. His mouth had gotten so dry in the past couple of minutes it felt like he could actually die of thirst. He knew that what Belial said wasn’t really true. All his points had gotten proven wrong by Crowley ages ago. Some with words, some with actions, some with time. So, he knew that Crowley wasn’t playing a cruel game with him. But nonetheless it surely hit some sore spots of his. But more than that he crumbled just a little under the open, personal hate Belial showered him with. Especially since he was supposed to be a friend of Crowley’s.

He tried to clear his dry throat. “I’ve been with him most of the time. Saw what he saw, met who he met. We’ve done most of it together. I know he’s just as happy as I am.”

Belial huffed. “You’re an angel. You’re meant to stay quiet like this…” He gestured towards the table and bookshop. “…and enjoy it. We demons aren’t. Not in any way. You heard it yourself. He misses to walk the earth and cause some ruckus. Don’t you think he’s just humouring you by sitting at this dull table and listen to you all the time?”

“If you really believe all that, then why give Crowley away and tell me all about his… marvellous plan?” Aziraphale asked.

“It’s boring?!” Belial send him a look that was clearly wondering about how stupid he could be. “This whole plan of his. It already became a waste of time by now. He just doesn’t realize that he already got what he wanted. I’d say just wait for that day to come. He’ll definitely snap and burn this place to the ground himself one day, but I’m not that patient. He needs to get freed from you now and come back to the real world, then we can spend our time just like we did in the old days.”

“Can’t it be that you are just missing him?” Aziraphale asked carefully, always the _‘see good in everyone’_ angel.

As Belial suddenly shot up, Aziraphale all but automatically stumbled back a little. 

“Don’t push your sentimental crap onto me angel!” Belial almost roared, stepping closer. “I am a demon! We’re neither capable nor willing to have any such feelings. That does in fact include Crowley! Which you keep and keep forgetting!” The demon seemed to lose whatever patience was left in him. “And even if that wasn’t true… Have you seen yourself, damnit? Heard your voice? Heard what comes out of that mouth of yours? It’s tedious in the best moments! Why in Lucifer’s name would he fancy spending time with what you have to offer? There is nothing even close to interesting. For no one. Especially not a demon!”

Aziraphale inhaled deeply and all but forgot to breath out again as he finally lowered his gaze, his mind racing. Belial on the other hand studied the result of his words and eyed the angel’s new posture with a satisfied sneer as he walked closer. Leering at how Aziraphale seemed to get smaller by the second. He leaned down to him, startling the angel a little, who hadn’t really noticed how close Belial has gotten already. “I guess you must be an insanely good lay!”

Aziraphale finally breathed out again, straightened himself at the same time. “You should leave… Belial.” He said, surprising even himself of how calm he sounded.

“Oh no, no…”, the demon urged, almost laughing excitedly. “I think I’m finally onto something. You must be a good fuck!”

“Belial, leave!” Aziraphale’s tried again, annoyed with himself as he heard yet again a small amount of desperation in his voice.

“Show me!” Belial gripped the angel’s arms, successfully stopping the angel’s attempt to step back.

“Ex…Excuse me?”

“Let me have you too! Crowley sticking with you must mean having a go with your lot must be mind-blowing.” The orange dot in the black of Belial’s eyes flickered slightly as the angel’s uneasiness grew visibly. “I never had an angel before. And I have to admit, the thought of soiling you over and over again, does excite me quite a bit.”

“Let me go and leave. Now!” Aziraphale snarled back, but he couldn’t hide how his desperation turned to a panic that was rushing through his veins as he tried to struggle out of the demon’s harsh grip. “Please!” He stressed. “Crowley will be back any minute and I don’t want him to lose every last bit of affection he has for your friendship! So, please, let me go and leave!”

“You forget again. I’m a demon.” Belial said quietly smirking. Only inches away from Aziraphale’s face, who shrank back a little. “I take what I want! And enjoy it even more, when it’s unwilling.” Belial’s hand gripped the angel’s chin in a bruising way, pulling him closer again. “He won’t mind if I rough you up a little!” Aziraphale closed his eyes, bracing himself to fight back. He wasn’t keen on using his powers to help himself out of this situation, knowing they’d notice upstairs and the last thing he wanted was to appear on their radar. But his own powers were screaming at him to stop the demon from touching him any further. They wanted Crowley. He wanted Crowley.

Like an answered prayer, the angel suddenly felt a familiar arm circling around his chest and the bruising grip of Belial’s hands being ripped away as he got spun around in a dizzying speed. He gasped when he opened his eyes again, his hands already tightening in what he knew was his husband’s button-up.

Crowley held his angel in an almost bone crushing grip against his chest. His dark wings encircling them both, which Aziraphale noticed half astonished half happy, since they calmed his heart even more. Safe. He was safe.

He glanced up towards Crowley, whose face was overpowered by sheer anger. “Crowley…”

“What were you tryin’ to do?” Crowley spat towards the other demon.

“What?” Belial answered confused. “What do you think? I thought you wouldn’t mind sharing him a bit.”

Crowley snarled. “You…” Aziraphale felt Crowley’s whole body twitch forward, tight with even more anger. He made a destressed sound as he gripped the demon’s shirt even tighter and buried his face in Crowley’s chest, not wanting to have to leave his husbands safe embrace again. 

“Aziraphale…” A soft hand cupped the back of his head. “Love? Are you ok?”

He didn’t look up, but nodded.

“You sure?” His husbands soft voice was a strong opposition to the anger the angel could still feel vibrating through his body. “Did he do anything to you?”

He shook his head. “No… not really. You came.”

The insinuation of that statement was not lost to Crowley, but he tried to keep his voice as calm as possible as another shudder of anger rushed through his body. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here faster. I’m so, so sorry, love.”

“Goddamn Crowley!” Belial almost yelled. “Cut the crap already!?”

Crowley lowered his eyes, staring daggers at his would-be friend. He knew it was impossible, but he felt like he could hear his pulse thundering in his ears.

“It’s not only annoying anymore. It’s getting humiliating.” He stared at Crowley. “You need to get out of here. Now. Whatever plan you’re following, you either already reached its goal or it’s not worth it anymore.”

“What’re you talking about? What plan?” Crowley pressed the words out like it was physically harming him to talk to Belial.

“You tell me!” Belial raised his eyebrows. “Did you plan on finding any weaknesses? Did you hope you’d get a better rank in hell fooling an angel? Or were you just playing around? Either way it’s enough already.”

“Belial…” Crowley spat but took a deep breath for his next words to calm himself down a little. “If you think me being married to Aziraphale is anything but sincere, you’re wrong. I told you before and I’ll tell you again. One last time. I. Love. Him. I’m hear because I want to be here. Because I want to be with him. You said you understood!”

“So, you’re telling me, after everything you did, we did, after all the places you’ve seen, people you’ve met. Fucked! You settle down for… For that?” His eyes landed on the blonde angel in Crowley’s arms, causing the red-haired demon to snarl at him.

“Belial, don’t test me!” Crowley growled threateningly. The only thing keeping him from lunging at the dark eyed demon in front of him, was his intimidated husband, who kept pushing himself deeper into his chest, unwilling to let him go. But Crowley himself didn’t really want to even lower his wings from around him too. His mind only somehow calm by having his angel safely with him.

“As my husband must’ve told you already. Leave.” Crowley explained. “Leave and don’t come back. Don’t even think about it. Forget me. Forget him. Just leave and I’ll… let this slight.” Words that felt like acid on Crowley’s tongue and frankly, he wasn’t completely sure if they were true. He knew his subconsciousness was already having some ideas…

“No!” Belial roared, but while Aziraphale winced slightly he failed to get the same reaction out of the fellow demon, who only glared at him harder. “You and I… We’re leaving. Together.”

“Oh, are we know?” Crowley all but snorted contemptuously. “You must be bloody insane!?”

“As soon as you’re away from this place and this… this toy of yours,” Belial didn’t even blink as Crowley’s threatening snarl filled the air yet again. “…you will start to think clearly again!” Belial strode towards Crowley and raised his arm. “If you’re so unwilling to stop this fucking game already, then I’ll make you! And if I have to force you to leave him, I will”

Crowley shifted his weight a little, so he could easily push the angel in his arms behind him at any time, all but ready to finally give Belial a real piece of his mind as a bright light filled the room. He could only hear Belial’s sudden yell and a whump, which seemed to immediately silence his former friend. The light blocked out anything else around him. Too bright to even see the ground under his feet.

Crowley’s confusion had a short lifespan, knowing and feeling that the light was coming from his husband.

As sudden as the light appeared, it vanished again, leaving behind three supernatural beings in their unique situation.

Crowley’s hand that was still cupping his husband’s neck slid to his waist as Aziraphale turned towards the picture of demonic misery on the ground, which was rubbing its head, groaning, as it tried to get an understanding of what just happened.

“I won’t let you take him.” Aziraphale said with more ice in his voice than Crowley thought the angel capable of. “He is my husband. He belongs to me.”

“You can’t just force him to stay with you!” Belial hissed.

“I’m not.” Aziraphale answered before Crowley could protest. “If he wants to go with you…”

“Which I don’t!” Crowley intervened.

“…If he wants to leave me…”

“Which I never will!”

A small smile was scurrying over Aziraphale’s face for just a split second. “… then he can.” He concluded. “But I won’t let you make any decision for him, let alone force him to do anything he doesn’t want.”

Crowley crossed his arms over his chest, proudly grinning upon seeing his angel stand so fiercely in front of him.

“I told you already, my husband told you again. So just once more: Leave. Now.” Aziraphale explained coldly.

Belial struggled with standing up, holding on to the shelve behind him. His eyes now fixated on the fire spitting angel between the two demons. “And you’ll both just continue living this lie, yes?”

Aziraphale’s strong posture crumbled slightly, suddenly exhausted. “I could explain it too you again. Like both of us did before, but I doubt you’d understand it anyway. Believe what you want. Just … go.” 

Belial stepped towards the door. “Pathetic.”

Aziraphale didn’t find it in him too care. He turned towards his husband, smiling apologetic. He couldn’t help himself feeling guilty by kicking out Crowley’s friend. Even though the demon himself had demanded for their guest to leave, too.

“Sorry…” He mumbled.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, love.” The red head smiled, reaching out for his husband, when Belial, who was finally close to the door, spun around again.

“Stop calling him that.” He roared. “He’s nothing but a damn cheap wench, who only enjoys you between his legs. That makes him not only pathetic but as an angel it makes him downright fit for hell.” Belial leered at Crowley. “Had you been here only a moment later, you’d have seen how he’d enjoyed me inside of him instead of you too.”

Crowley froze only for a second, before he felt the anger, he’d kept reigned in for too long multiply, while it was seeping into every fibre of his being. He lunged forward, tackling Belial to the ground his fist already raised for the first punch, loaded with just enough demonic energy, that he wouldn’t pass out immediately. He kept him pinned to the ground as he gifted him with punch after punch, feeling better after each one of them. He was pissed. Like he hadn’t been since a very, very long time. Not only because of Belial’s words or the disrespect and betrayal they brought with them, no. Because he himself had left. While he was strolling down the road, while he took his goddamn time picking their bloody dessert und joked with the cashier about the angel’s macarons obsession, Belial had said and done god knows what to his husband. Because he left them alone. Belial was a demon after all. He trusted him… but he knew that he never trusted him completely. He never left anything unattended when Belial was around, even holding onto a book he had planned to give to the angel once he saw him again. So why on earth didn’t he think twice when he left his heart alone with him.

“Crowley, stop," Said heart mumble quietly somewhere behind him, breaking him out of his lowkey frenzy. "You don't want to kill him."

"Like hell I don't," Crowley snarled, his fierce gaze locked on Belial. His first still raised as a dagger appeared in it, which the demon immediately pushed down into Belial’s throat. “Your mistake.” Crowley laughed toneless. “Thinking all my blades shrivelled to cute food knifes.” He pressed his dagger harder against Belial’s throat, enjoying how it started to draw some blood.

“I could easily kill you right now. You could never best me before and you won’t now.” The dark-haired demon squirmed under the heavy demonic aura Crowley released, trying to fight it back. But it didn’t take much for Crowley to push his futile attempts back and keep him pinned to the ground. “Especially not now. Not after insulting and threatening my heart!” Crowley’s eyes seemed to glow as he stuck the tip of his tongue out, concentrating on not accidentally killing Belial. 

“But you’ve lost your touch, old friend.” He stressed the last word. “Did you not recognize the dagger by now?”

Belial frowned as his eyes travelled to the tilt of the dagger, where his eyes widened in a panic. “No…” he gasped. “Crowley! Don’t!”

“Oh, but they miss you downstairs. You must be their favourite person to see.” Crowley grinned. “Make sure they know you’re a gift from me!” And before Aziraphale could even blink Crowley had thrusted the blade into the heart of the demon beneath him. The orange dot in Belial’s eyes widening for a short moment before the demon literally fell apart, leaving behind a lonesome dagger that softly rocked in their wooden floor. Crowley hadn’t been in the mood for holding back.

“Crowley…?” He heard his angel questioning. “Is he…”

“Not dead.” He reached for the dagger and straightened up. His hands playing around with the tip of it. “Well, not for our standards.” He focused his attentions back on his husband. “Let’s say this dagger is a one-way ticket to hell. And since he’s their most wanted, I suppose all hell just broke loose in hell.”

He let the dagger disappear again, hoping to not be in need of it any time soon. He smiled at his angel. “Anyway, good riddance, right!?”

Aziraphale only hummed absentmindedly.

“Love?” Crowley frowned and walked over to a very lonely looking angel. A view that didn’t sit well with him at all. He cupped his face gently the moment he reached him, pulling him closer. “You okay?”

“I am.” Aziraphale smiled sadly. “Thank you!”

“Don’t thank me please.” Crowley grumbled. “It was me, who brought him here and me, who left you alone with him. Should’ve never done that…”

“No…” Aziraphale smile lost a bit of his sadness. “No, Crowley. There was nothing you did wrong. You trusted a friend. That’s good. Well, it’s not good that he abused that trust. But it’s good that you opened up.”

“Didn’t bring much good with it, now, did it?” Crowley gritted his teeth.

“Hmm, not in this case, no.” The angel admitted. “But maybe next time.”

“Don’t think there’ll ever be a next time.” Crowley huffed.

“Don’t say that. One out of… five? Is it? One out of five who was a bad apple. But your trust was well placed with the human, the witch and the kids.” His smile grew when he thought of their friends. “They’d literally do everything for you. Especially the kids. Anathema might be a bit grumpy, but in the end, she’d best ten Belial’s for you.”

“Us.” Crowley corrected. “Maybe I should just keep away from demons.”

“Well, angels apparently aren’t much better…” The angel frowned. “But there will be exceptions. Adam’s literally the antichrist. I guess there must be a few demon’s and angel’s, who are no lost causes.”

“Guess you’re right.” Crowley hummed and pulled his angel into his arms. “I’m just sorry you got hurt. I should never have let that happen.”

“Darling you misunderstand.” Aziraphale gazed up into his husband’s eyes, his sad smile returning. “His words didn’t hurt me the way he thought they do. I didn’t just say it for the sake of it, I actually do trust you. Completely. I know that you love me, with all I am. I had my doubts, but you defeated them all for my sake a long, long time ago.” He brushed his thumb over Crowley’s cheek, smiling over his husband’s widening eyes. “He’s a demon. An old school one. Trying to hurt where he thinks he sees the easiest goal. But there was nothing he could’ve hit to hurt me with anymore.”

“But you looked hurt…” Crowley’s mouth twitched with a painful expression, which his angel answered with bumping his nose into Crowley’s chin.

“Well I was.” Aziraphale admitted. “But not as you might think. I was hurt for you.”

The red head shook his head slightly confused. “Me?”

“You brought home a cherished friend.” The angel began to explain. “And you were so happy about it. About meeting him again, chatting with him, reminiscing over old times. I loved seeing you this happy. A lot. And when he started… when I could see his real intentions, I knew this could end your friendship and make you sad. I was trying to explain it to him, to make him understand that what we have is real. I tried to save your friendship… I really did. But…” Aziraphale’s mouth twitched as his eyes followed the gentle stroke of his thumb on Crowley’s cheek. “I’m sorry he betrayed your trust and destroyed your friendship. I’m sorry he hurt you like that.”

Crowley starred at his husband, speechless for only a moment as he slowly reached for the angel’s hands, causing a confused look on the others face as he started to push him back.

“Darling?!” Crowley began carefully, when he pushed his angel further into the next available chair and kneeled down in front of him. “When someone says something like what he said to you... Yes, you’re right, of course it also hurts me, but… If that ever happens again, and I promise I’ll do everything I can to prevent that… but be it a possible friend or a sworn enemy, if anyone ever treats you the way he did… angel please...” Crowley all but begged now, grip tightening around his husband’s hands. “Don’t let them. Don’t even try to save anything for me or anyone else. Do you really believe I could have continued being his friend even if he’d changed his mind in the end?” Crowley questioned. “The second he went against you was enough. When I came back and saw him literally towering over you… When I heard what he said. Angel, it never crossed my mind to try and talk him back into any kind of friendship by convincing him he’s wrong. I wanted him not only gone, I wanted him dead.”

Crowley put his head into Aziraphale’s lap, closing his eyes. This was important. So very important. It wasn’t the first time he’d witnessed Aziraphale dealing with stuff he never should’ve been forced to face, turning the other cheek, as a good angel was taught to do. And Crowley hated it.

“Please come to me next time. Don’t wait for me to show up or to find out in any other way. And especially, don’t try to ever hide it. Never wait for the other party to finish their hateful rant. Tell me. Call me. Summon me, if you can. And if you only feel like something might be slightly off or anyone makes you feel uncomfortable. Again, tell me.” The demon kissed his angel’s hands, looking up in those beautiful big blue eyes. “You still underestimate how much you mean to me! I literally don’t care about anyone or anything else. Even our friends - may they be happy forever. But they are just random decoration compared to you.”

A loud huff filled the silence that followed the kneeling husband’s words as his other half was trying to catch his breath. He chuckled quietly as he wiped a few traitorous tears away. “Don’t let Anathema hear you. You might be running around as a toddler for at least a week.”

Crowley smirked at that. “If it helps you understand where you stand for me, I’ll cope.”

“You know…” Aziraphale started. “I think in his twisted kind of way he really was your friend.”

“How can that be?” Crowley asked disbelievingly.

“Whether or not he believed you were simply fooling around with me, he also just seemed to want his friend back. I think he missed you.”

Crowley thought about it for a moment, sighing slightly. “Maybe. But I honestly don’t care, love.”

Aziraphale raised his eyebrows looking quite reprimanding.

“Really!” Crowley laughed. “I’m fine. Especially as long as you are. It’s been you and me against the world for thousands of years. That should give you an idea of how much I want you around. You. And you alone.”

His angel’s soft smile warmed Crowley’s heart and he closed his eyes in full contentment when Aziraphale bent down to rest his forehead against his soulmate’s.

“Me too…” Aziraphale whispered softly. “I love you, Crowley! More than I could ever express with words.”

A soft chuckle shook them both slightly. “And that means a lot, since you have so many of them.”

Which earned him a slight slap to the shoulder. 

“I can take it back at any time.” The angel threatened cheerfully.

“No don’t.” Crowley looked up again. “Rather try telling me. With all those lovely words you have.”

“All of them?” He questioned. “It might take another 6000 years until…”

But Crowley had shot up and was kissing the living day out of him, before he could even name the first of the many reasons why he loved him: The bag of a dozen macarons he spotted near the door.

___the end___


End file.
